Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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