careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
