I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
