I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
