Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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