just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
