I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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