these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Randomize
