I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
