in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Please, let me fuck your mom
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
