Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
