its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
