I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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