Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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