The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
