It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
