how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
