Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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