i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
