So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He shit in the fireplace
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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