Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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