sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
