I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
