thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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