she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
