Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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