i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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