who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
