i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
