so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
