So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
