I'm really into asian looking animals
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
