i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I have grass duct taped all over my body
You pole danced in your parka.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
