words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
