Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
