SEEEEXXX PLEASE
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
