YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
