Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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