So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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