it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
