Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
