Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
