i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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