my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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