oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
i came on her dog
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
