Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
She needs sedatives and a leash
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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