We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Randomize
