I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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