I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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