i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
